Confession time:

I wasted 3 years by being too afraid to stick to the plan

Let me explain

My first full year as a filmmaker/producer was a heady mix of opportunities and overworking

I’d just turned 20 and my goal for the year was to get 10 credits (so my CV would look semi-decent despite only being in the industry for a year so far)

My shiny tenth credit went on my CV in September of that year, roughly the same time I got a full-time job at a production company in London

This – I thought – was my ‘I made it!’ moment

But in truth, I was trying to keep my options open

Or, in other words, I didn’t have the guts to stick to my own plan

I knew I wanted to produce films – especially short films. Most people don’t dream of making shorts but honestly I love them

The thing is, I didn’t truly believe that I could actually do it

We’re in the business of optimists (or delusional thinkers, depending on who you ask)

Meaning we expect both the best and worst outcomes with everything we do:

“This might be the short film that gets nominated for a BAFTA!”

“Great, another short film that I won’t manage to make until next year…”

And that optimistic ‘you never know!’ thinking leads filmmakers (myself included) to try and do everything we possibly can, just in case one thing works out, and another fails miserably

By taking that production company job I got:

 to move to London (finally)

 a full-time income (which got swallowed up by London rent…)

 an actual film industry job that could lead to amazing connections! (it didn’t)

But it also meant:

 no longer being able to do any on-set production jobs

 waking up at 5am to work on my own projects (and not sleeping until 1am most nights)

 sacrificing my health by doing my full-time job, producing a radio show, producing other projects on the side AND taking on random location-scout jobs just to keep my CV growing

So if you’re trying to do everything, there’s usually a deep-rooted cause:

You don’t believe that the work you’re currently doing is going to pay off

That’s why you feel that unconscious need to do more, be ‘on’ constantly, and beat yourself up for every single missed opportunity

I see this a lot with the filmmakers I work with. They’re creating their own work, auditioning, taking on random production jobs, applying for everything they find… as well as trying to find time to access that creative energy and write

Read more: What’s it like being a film festival judge?

When we start believing in the power of what we’re currently doing, we can let go of that need to try to do everything ‘just in case’

Maybe you read this and felt like none of it applies to you. That’s cool

I’m writing it for all the other overworked 20-somethings, because I WISH someone had told me this when I was in the thick of it

You don’t need to do everything

You don’t need to ‘prove’ yourself or your worth through overwork

It’ll happen. Focus on the things that get you results and stick to your plan